Forget balance. Focus on managing your energy instead. After all, there's only so much energy to use on the stuff that you truly want to do.
So, rather than building that new feature, or raising that venture fund, or painting that portrait, or writing that blog post, or taking the family to Disneyland, you can’t because you’re fried. The phone is at 1% and needs to be plugged back in otherwise no more phone, no more life.
Look. You can still work hard and manage your energy like a professional. But if you’re spending your days doing things that you hate, odds are near zero that you’ll actually dedicate the time and energy toward the things that matter.
Infinite energy doesn’t exist—so the goal is figuring how to use your finite energy in the most meaningful ways possible. Alright, cool. So how does one use that precious energy on meaningful stuff? By saying no to people and pruning your relationships. By being hardcore about creating a life that gives you energy instead of draining it.
My friend Derek Sivers wrote a famous blog post called “No yes. Either HELL YEAH! or no”:
“When you say no to most things, you leave room in your life to really throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say “HELL YEAH!”
Every event you get invited to. Every request to start a new project. If you’re not saying “HELL YEAH!” about it, say no.
We’re all busy. We’ve all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Relationship pruning might also sound cold, but as we age, our time on this earth gets shorter, and bad relationships require energy like everything else. Wouldn’t you rather be spending your time with those who bring you joy? You have to be ruthless about who you’re including and excluding otherwise you’ll get robbed of the experiences that you could have had with the people you love.
There’s a word for no more energy—it’s called burnout. You might be a person who thinks that burnout is bullshit, and that’s fine, but at a certain point, something will give… that might be your business, your marriage, your heart, your health.
Burnout can be avoided because oftentimes we’re just working on the wrong things. We have to start working on the right things, and the right things take energy and require deep thought.
Try this: Go through your calendar for the month. Mark each event with either a plus (+) if it gave you energy, or a minus (-) if it drained your energy. Tally them up, and then reassess your life accordingly.
I love this, and needed it a little bit today.
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