On not forcing things

A note from a conversation with my mother

"Sometimes disengaging is the best way to engage.” —Rick Rubin

I was having a conversation with my mom yesterday, pouring out my emotions like my existential dread of not doing enough, not achieving enough, and the fact that I always want to change things.

You see, as a first born, wanting to move mountains is in my blood, and I highly suspect that a lot of you feel similarly about yourselves. My default state is to use sheer will to get things done and change my surroundings for better or for worse.

But she said two things that hit me:

The first was "don't force it—every time I try to force something in life, it doesn't work out and makes things worse."

That hit me in the face because she's absolutely right. As a doer-achiever I really struggle with not forcing things. You know what, maybe the mountains don't need moving, and maybe they don't want to move.

The other thing she said was "just be—be in the present moment, you're focusing too much on the past or future and ignoring what's right in front of you."

BAM. She’s right again, and that one slapped me in the face, too. I'm ignoring the potential creative opportunities from the universe and ignoring the beautiful people in my life because I'm not actually here.

By being here now, by being conscious of the present moment, many of those worries and anxieties and made-up stories that we tell ourselves begin to fade away.

Giving up the war allows for happiness to fill the soul and for creativity to reappear, without being tethered to the past or future.

We can finally enjoy the beauty of each moment. The dust settles and we see the whole map, illuminated.

That feels good.