With vulnerability comes betrayal
Lex Fridman recently tweeted:
I agree with Lex. When a friend betrays another, they create a certain chaos that disrupts the harmony in society. Getting betrayed by a friend fucking hurts. As humans we hate betrayal so much, in fact, that “treason” (a betrayal against one’s state) has been one of the highest crimes that can be committed and punishment would typically involve a miserable death. But why is betrayal so bad? What is it about betrayal that hurts so bad?
Relationships are at the core of being human—they are what care about the most. Fracturing our relationships with those closest to us is a breach of trust. What happens is that the traitor places a higher value on money, fame, or sex above the friendship and above the trust that you have in each other. Betrayal is a flavor of selfishness where the betrayer is disillusioned and places greater value on short term gain than they do the friendship (which they often end up regretting).
Here’s the logic:
Relationships bind humans together
Two people spend time to build trust with one another; they become friends
One of the two friends shatters that trust for selfish reasons
Betrayal is ugly. You will be betrayed in your life because it's hard to defend against it without entirely giving up your humanity. When you're vulnerable with others both personally and professionally, it’s inevitable that you will get screwed over at least once in this life. The best thing we can do is learn from these experiences, and (try to) forgive that friend if they ever end up seeking redemption. If they don’t, just forgive them internally and continue doing meaningful work—just don't give them any more real estate in your mind.